Traditionally, when we think of the word healers, we might envision doctors, nurses and those in health care professions. However, from a more holistic perspective, there are an abundance of practitioners who lend their gifts to facilitating the healing of others. Those of us who constantly give of ourselves frequently feel over-extended, burned-out and suffer from physical, emotional and mental exhaustion. Further complicating this scenario is that we are oftentimes hesitant to reach out and ask for help because we don’t want to be perceived as weak or powerless.
In many instances, those who choose healing professions have a history of being deeply wounded. Whether it be physical, emotional, sexual or spiritual trauma, our direct experiences of immeasurable suffering somehow gently guide us to be more fully open to understanding the plight of others. Through this knowing, we are able to create a healing space of empathy and compassion. This is a common theme in every corner of the world. Christine Downing (2006), mythological scholar and educator, eloquently notes, “That woundedness, illness, suffering are a prerequisite for taking on the role of healer is a truth recognized in the myths and rituals of traditional cultures throughout the world”[1].
How then, can we can effectively help others without experiencing burnout and potentially facing a deep dive back into our own dark well of pain? Sometimes when we assist others it uncovers another layer of suffering within us that we need to acknowledge. How do we know when that happens? Maybe it is a tendency to anger more easily or worry about things we have no control over. Perhaps we are feeling insecure, which can make us more judgmental. It may be that we are taking on too much, which leads to feelings of resentment and exhaustion. How can we explore our inner being to promote a greater sense of balance and harmony and what can we do to nurture our soul? All of these questions require thoughtfulness, self-compassion and insight.
We first need to acknowledge and recognize that we need to delve more deeply into caring for ourselves and find ways to nurture our inner-being. Self-care requires self-discipline and is an essential component for those in healing professions. And, it needs to be a daily practice. If we decide to play the violin and take lessons once a month, we are not going to be very good violinists; in fact, no one is going to want to listen to us. The same is true with our spiritual-care practice; we must carve out time each day for a routine that becomes ingrained and consistent. Life is hectic and our schedules are full, so we need to take a serious look at our priorities. For just one day, write down everything that you do and be honest and diligent about it. Most of us spend at least some time on social media, watching television or sitting in front of a computer screen, which often lends itself to creating additional stress and worry. Try stepping away from those activities for ten minutes, take a walk and consciously think about breathing.
If you have given meditation a try and you find it challenging, try a walking meditation without your phone. Think about connecting with nature by taking a stroll and looking at the trees, listen to the birds and feel the wind on your face. The Japanese practice of Shinrin-yoku, which translates to forest bathing, or spending time in nature, has been proven to boost immune cells, reduce anxiety and depression, lower blood pressure, increase our energy and improve sleep.[2] During a nature walk, allow the body to experience its calming effects. If it is raining, let the rain touch your hands. If it is snowing, stick out your tongue and catch some snowflakes! All of these sensations are reminders of the healing power of the earth.
Another simple tool for relieving stress is to giggle and laugh and remember that sometimes it is OK to not take things too seriously. Laughter releases endorphins, brings oxygen to the lungs and eases tension, all of which strengthen your immune system. There are even laughing meditations that you can find on the internet. After you have had a good laugh, check in with yourself and see how your entire body and mind are feeling. Give yourself permission to have some fun each day and make it a priority to do something that brings you joy.
Journaling is also an effective way to reveal and release unhealthy feelings that we might be carrying. Writing down our thoughts can be an effective tool in recognizing old patterns and ways of being. We can then make the conscious choice to either embrace them or lovingly look at them, realize they do not serve us well, and then let them go. When journaling, keep it simple and allow your thoughts to gently glide onto the paper. There are no rules; perhaps you might only write down one or two words or draw a picture. The goal is to allow your feelings, whether good or bad, to be expressed in a healthy way. Journaling will also allow you to track how you are feeling and give you the capability to look back on past events and see how far you have grown.
Setting boundaries is also essential in maintaining overall wellbeing. If you have a professional holistic healing practice, let clients know before they arrive what your expectations are and the time-frame you allotted for them. Honor and respect yourself and your clients will do the same for you. If you are feeling exhausted and overwhelmed, it could be an indication that you need to re-evaluate your ability to say “no” and set limits. Remember that the more time you give others permission to invade your personal time, the less time you will have to spend on self-care.
Are we all ever completely healed from our wounds? Once again, Christine Downing explicitly notes, “I have come to recognize for a long while when I thought of the wounded healer, I really had in mind the healed healer, the once wounded healer who wounds are now healed.” However, she suggests “a perspective from which our wounds are not something to get over, to put behind us, to hide, but an integral part of our being”. Embracing this aspect of ourselves allows us to innately build conscious compassion for others. As we do so, we must keep ourselves balanced and harmonious by committing to daily self-care practices that nurture our body, mind and spirit.
[1] Downing, C. (2006). The Wounded Healer. Gleanings. Lincoln, NE: iUniverse
[2] Kuo, M. (2015). How might contact with nature promote human health? Promising mechanisms and a possible central pathway. Frontiers in Psychology, 6, doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2015.01093
Originally published in Therapeutic Thymes, Winter 2019, Issue 13